Your Toddler Probably IS Listening to You… Here’s Why You Might Think Otherwise:
Ever tell your toddler, “Put your cup in the sink,” only to find it on the kitchen table instead?
Or ask your preschooler to “Sit next to your brother,” and they plop down in front of him, blocking their view of a movie which results in a WWE smackdown?
It might seem like they're ignoring you or being defiant, but what if I told you that many toddlers and preschoolers simply haven’t learned these concepts yet?
Before you assume it’s a listening issue, consider this:
What Are Basic Concepts?
Basic concepts are the foundation for following directions, learning in school, and communicating clearly. These are the words we use all day long—often without realizing how tricky they can be for a young child.
They’re often learned in pairs and fall into categories like:
Location: in/out, under/over, behind/in front
Number: all/none, more/less
Quality: big/little, same/different, clean/dirty
Time: first/last, before/after
Emotions: happy/sad
Think about a typical school morning:
“Put your folder on the top shelf.”
“Stand behind Olivia in line.”
“Put your coat under your backpack, not on it!”
“We’re going to wash our hands before snack.”
These are all packed with basic concepts—and following them correctly depends on understanding those concepts.
Why Are Basic Concepts So Important?
📚 Kindergarten teachers use basic concepts in 92% of classroom directions. (That’s almost EVERY direction they’ll hear!) If your child enters kindergarten without knowing basic concepts, they will not only struggle to understand academic instruction, they may present with behavior barriers and “trouble listening” to their teacher, when in reality they need more practice learning opposites and spatial concepts.
(Hirsh-Pasek et al., 2009)🎯 Understanding basic concepts boosts reading, math, and play skills. Concepts like more/less, full/empty, all/none impact a child’s foundation for learning math skills! Their play and cooperation with others is also dependent on their knowledge of opposites like mine/yours, happy/sad, etc.
(Beck & McKeown, 2007; Pentimonti et al., 2012)📖 Vocabulary knowledge, including concepts, is the #1 predictor of reading comprehension.
(National Early Literacy Panel, 2008)⏳ Concept understanding improves executive functioning and classroom behavior.
(Bohlmann, Maier, & Palacios, 2015)⚠️ Children with delays in concept development are at higher risk for academic struggles.
(Justice et al., 2005)
Development Matters: When Should Kids Understand These Words?
Children don’t master basic concepts all at once. Here's a general guide:
Age 2–3: Start to understand on/off, big/little, in/out
Age 3–4: Add in under/over, same/different, clean/dirty, all/none
Age 4–5: Begin to understand more abstract or time-based ones like before/after, first/last, above/below
So if your 2-year-old doesn’t know under or your 3-year-old struggles with before, they might not be “ignoring” you—they might just need more support learning those words. I see this often with parents telling a 3 year old “we are going to the park after we go to the dentist!” then be surprised when that 3 year old is expecting the park right now! This leads to tantrums and big feelings, not because they don’t listen: it’s because they don’t understand your language yet.
Let’s Teach It at Home! 🧠✨
Here’s a simple acronym to help you remember the four steps to teaching basic concepts:
L.E.A.F. 🌿
L – Label & Demonstrate
Use real objects. Show and tell.
🧸 “Here’s the bear. The bear is under the table. UNDER! Now he’s on the table—not under!”
E – Explore & Expand
Once they understand, add the opposite.
🧸 “He’s not under, he’s over! Let’s try again.”
A – Ask & Apply
Turn it into a game with yes/no and open-ended questions.
👂 “Is the cow under the chair?”
🗣️ “Where is the pig?”
F – Follow with Variety
Use it everywhere—during play, in the car, at bedtime.
🧃 “Can you put your juice on the counter?”
🛁 “Is the towel under the sink?”
Helpful Tips for Success
✅ Repeat often – Kids need dozens (even hundreds!) of exposures.
✅ Use simple sentences – “Put it in” is easier than “Put it in the pantry next to the cereal.”
✅ Use toys, books, and routines – Embed learning in everyday moments.
✅ Model and show – Actions speak louder than words (especially at age 2!).
✅ Celebrate mistakes – They’re part of learning!
Basic Concepts List (From Easiest to Most Complex):
On/Off
Big/Little
Empty/Full
Open/Closed
Hard/Soft
In/Out
Same/Different
Clean/Dirty
Loud/Quiet
Hot/Cold
Outside/Inside
All/None
Long/Short
Fast/Slow
New/Old
Over/Under
More/Less
Happy/Sad
Above/Below
Behind/In Front
Top/Bottom
Front/Back
First/Last
Before/After
The Takeaway
When your toddler “isn’t listening,” ask yourself: Did they understand the words I used? Can I break it down into more simple language?
By building your child’s understanding of basic concepts at home, you're not only supporting better listening and direction-following—you’re laying the groundwork for academic, social, and life success.
Need help teaching concepts in playful ways? Want ideas for your child’s developmental level? I’d love to support you.
